Saturday, September 1, 2012

Miss America

Recent email from a friend made me look up one of the more embarrassing parts of my childhood.

When I was a little kid, like most every other little kids, I wanted a bike. So, since we didn't have much money at the time, my parents hit some garage sales and found me a bike.
And I just found it online - apparently someone on ebay was trying to get $500 for it.

I present to you my shame, and why I probably still suck at riding bikes -
The 1976 AMF Westpoint Miss America Girls Bicentennial Limited Edition Bicycle


The pictures show this one doesn't still have the red white and blue spangly tassels on the handlebars, altho the one I had didn't have all the plastic spoke thingies still on it... And mine had a white plastic wicker looking basket with daises on it on the handlebars.

Actually the first time I tried to ride it was even traumatic than simply being a boy with a very girls bike .
My dad (who was probably a little lit at the time) had me out in our driveway and started me by the big rock and headed me towards the house which was a slight downward slope. He said he would keep up with me and not let me fall. He lied. Not only did he not follow me or let me not fall, he became incapacitated with laughter when I did fall over into a big ass mud puddle.
So covered in mud with my father unsympathetically bent over laughing, I began crying and ran into the house for the comfort of my mother. She hears me screaming and bawling and comes steaming up the stairs, but her initial worry turns instantly to rage when she sees that I am covered in mud and spreading said mud all over the hallway.
This lead to the one and only time I was ever spanked. By my mother. While my dad was outside laughing.

Needless to say I didn't even want to try riding a bike for a couple years after that.

I do seem to recall my  dad finally showing up in the house once he had caught his breath and my mom feeling kind of bad  because she spanked me for something that was kind of his fault. However she was still pissed about all the mud. At least my dad got me back outside and hosed me off.

I can only imagine how much different life would have been had they found a used Evil Kenievel one

...I probably still would have fallen in the mud...